When you're tired of trying so hard to get it right
You may be capable, thoughtful and used to getting on with things - while privately putting enormous pressure on yourself.
Perhaps you overthink decisions, find it difficult to disappoint people, procrastinate when you're afraid you won't do something well enough, or constantly feel as though you should be doing more.
Therapy and psychologically informed coaching can give you space to understand what's driving these patterns - and find a different way of relating to yourself.
Perhaps you recognise yourself here
You hold yourself to standards you would never expect from anyone else.
You say yes when you want to say no - and then feel resentful, overwhelmed or exhausted.
You put something off because doing it imperfectly feels worse than not starting.
You replay conversations, worrying that you've said too much, not enough, or the wrong thing.
You find yourself looking to other people for reassurance before trusting your own judgement.
You achieve something you've worked towards, but the satisfaction doesn't last long before the goalposts move again.
Or perhaps there isn't one obvious problem. You're simply exhausted by the amount of mental and emotional effort it takes to keep everything going.
Underneath these experiences can be a persistent question: What if I'm not enough?
These patterns make sense
Perfectionism, people-pleasing, procrastination, overthinking and self-doubt can seem like separate problems.
Often, they're ways we've learned to manage something deeper - the possibility of getting things wrong, disappointing someone, being judged, failing, or discovering that we're somehow not enough.
Trying harder can work for a while. You prepare more. Achieve more. Become more helpful. Avoid the things you might fail at. Keep everyone happy.
But when your sense of worth becomes dependent on how well you perform or how other people respond to you, there is very little room to simply be human.
My work isn't about lowering your standards or teaching you not to care. It's about helping you understand why so much has come to depend on getting things right.
Understanding the pattern, not just managing the symptom
I don't believe meaningful change comes from simply telling yourself to think more positively, set better boundaries or stop overthinking.
We'll be curious about what's underneath the pattern.
That might mean exploring how your experiences and relationships have shaped what you've learned about yourself; noticing the thoughts, emotions and behaviours that keep the cycle going; developing a less critical relationship with yourself; and learning to tolerate uncertainty, imperfection and the possibility of disappointing others.
The aim isn't to turn you into someone who never doubts themselves, makes mistakes or worries what other people think.
It's to help those experiences have less power over the choices you make.
You can have high standards without your worth depending on meeting them.
3-Session Reset:
For when you want focused psychological support around something specific.
You may not be looking for open-ended therapy, but there's a pattern, decision or difficulty you feel stuck in.
Across three focused sessions, we'll make sense of what's happening, identify what's keeping you stuck and explore what moving forward could look like.
This may be particularly helpful around boundaries, people-pleasing, perfectionism, procrastination, confidence or a decision you've been going round in circles about.
3 sessions | £450
Therapy or the 3-Session Reset?
You don't need to know exactly what kind of support you need before getting in touch.
Therapy is generally better suited to deeper or more longstanding difficulties where there is value in having ongoing space to understand and work through patterns over time.
The 3-Session Reset is shorter and more focused. It's designed around a particular issue, pattern or decision you want to understand and approach differently.
If you're unsure which is more appropriate, we can discuss this when you enquire.
Therapy:
For deeper, ongoing psychological work.
Therapy offers regular space to understand longstanding patterns and the experiences that may sit beneath them.
It may be right for you if perfectionism, anxiety, people-pleasing, self-doubt or difficulties with boundaries are affecting different areas of your life, or if you want the time and space to understand yourself at greater depth.
£125 per session
You don't have to become a better version of yourself before you can feel differently about the person you already are.
You can care about doing things well without being consumed by getting them right.
You can care about other people without making their happiness your responsibility.
You can take action without knowing whether everything will work out.
And you can pursue a meaningful, ambitious life without continually using what you achieve as evidence that you're enough.